StuckInTheMiddle

I miss running

2011-05-15T20:24:00.000-07:00

I miss running....so very much
I know i shouldn't mention about this coz it may sound like im whining
which I am not....just miss the feeling, the pain, the agony
i hope by the time my body is ready i'll get to go back on the road
coz my mind definitely more than ready

hei there cutie in my tummy
dun get me wrong....i love u more
it just running makes a me a better and stronger person
because that is how that i want you to know me
and thats the kind of person that i wish you to be
InsyaAllah

confession of a big eater

2011-02-17T00:04:00.000-08:00

i am a big eater
i eat when im happy
i eat when im sad
i eat when im hungry even when im not

but now i have THE strong reason to eat BIG even BIGGER *grinning*
yeay! life is great....Alhamdulillah

at least that's how i see this wonderful thing

lari pusing-pusing kena salak anjing

2011-02-09T18:49:00.000-08:00

she : smlm aku mimpi aku lari....adoi...rindu2

me : rindu kan? aku tiap kali lalu kwsn ***** tu, sure teringat lari ngan kau pusing2 kena salak anjing hahahaha

she : hahahaha yela, anjing bapak besar tu. scary. 3 round lari baru baru dia cam kita and stop nyalak

me : kau agak2 anjing tu rindu tak kat kita?

she : gila kau ni....hahahaha

sometimes its not about the milage that you have collected that matters
but the friendships that you have built does

miss u my fren
pakai la balik kasut lari kau yg dah berabuk tu and join us once in a while ok ;)

RE-caps

2011-01-31T20:16:00.000-08:00

first quarter of 2010

running....running and running
completed pacesetter 30k
half marathon at putrajaya night run - PB ;)
2nd marathon at energizer night run
bidor half marathon
other than that...training training and training
i've turned into a running addict

then there's a trip to HK....this was super fun! loves my sisters very much!
apa lagi...? oh ya....the proposal *wink*

second quarter of 2010

sundown marathon...ran starting from midnite to the dawn...gila!
kl marathon...PB....this is the point when i felt like running marathon every month
i was so enjoying the longggg hour run...the pain....the peacefulness i gained from it
seremban half marathon, shape run then hatyai half marathon right before the fasting month
and...we engaged *wink*wink*

third quarter of 2010

raya....duit raya....hutang raya :P
newton run 25k came afterward...i did terribly, cramped all over the leg (padan muka)
nike run, trailblazer trail run, penang bridge then finally s'pore marathon

we got married! *wink*wink*wink*

so, what did i learn about myself and about life through out the year?

1. kalau dah jodoh tak kemana...enuff said.
for those who has problem with single lady out there, my advice to you...get a life!!! go f*cking care of other problems in this world...(i will elaborate later)

2. i am lembik....in english it called soft....bahasa pasar cakapp cengeng, kuat nangis, cepat mengebeh.
who would have thought this...i didn't....i guess i am more lady from the inside than outside. when inside being discovered, it finally shown on the outside

3. running can be addicted....hahaha....wanna bet on this?

4.i am blessed.
it called blessed because i get so much more than i expected. in fact more than i can give back. wonderful family and adorable frens.....they made my wedding comes true with their hard work and support. love them so much!

5.i can be pretty.
hahahaha....even if its only for few hours in a few days, its good to know that, with some helps and tools, i can still look pretty hahahahaha

6.kahwin pakai banyak duit!!! *deng* *pengsan*

RE-activate

2011-01-31T19:03:00.000-08:00

StuckInTheMiddle

56 Posts, last published on Dec 7, 2009

ehmm...let me see...I have abandoned this blog for almost 15 months now
its not that anybody noticed that or even missed my absence, but its quite a long break i must say.
so, what had happened to me for the past 15 months?
im too busy running actually.
completed 4 marathons and many other running events in 2010....yeeehaaa!
what else?
i fell in love....engaged and get married to a lovely, kind-hearted and wonderful guy (kalau bukan aku sendiri puji, sapa lagi)....double yeehaaaa!

first i thought i should just quit blogging.....since i dun have many followers pun (nobody cares anyway)
but, it was not the reason i started this
i dun write mainly so that people can read
i write becoz there are part of me that like to tell stories
life is full of stories....and i need a channel so the stories can be told
(regardsless whether its an interesting or not)
for some reason, this blog do captured some of the good and bad moments of my life.
perhaps if i keep writing, eventually i will gain something else..perhaps ya

so peeps, where should i start?

SCIM - an emotional ride

2009-12-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

As many have heard, i just completed my 1st marathon @ age of 30...as what people said, better late then never. since it was my first so i think it deserved a long and boring report so i won't leave any details behind....so when i am older i get to brag about it again n again. speaking of being optimistic kan.

let's start on the day before the race...SAT 05-12-09
reached singapore by train at 8.30......with my family, but i have to leave them with their own plan because i didn't made a necessary arrangement for my bib collection so i had to do it myself. I owe them an apologize....it hurts me but i know they are fully understand my situation.
Along & adik, luv u...thanks :)
As for the team, we get to checked-in earlier than the usual time so we managed to take bath and perform our prayer before left to expo afterward. Reached there around 2.30pm and im off to orchard to meet my dear frens, nisak and bastiana that come all the way from JB to meet me....so sweet of them. but they were 2 hours late! since i do not want to put much stress on my feet, i decided to sit in front of paragon and watching people to kill my waiting ***** time (look a little bit like an idiot)...in fact i almost feel asleep on that bench....haha sengal.
something suddenly bothered me when i started to feel pain on my left foot, it was swollen....oh dear, i cannot afford any injury at this point of time i thought...so i took out hot balm from my bag then rub on it, doesn't seem to help at all. i guess all i can do then was hoping it won't get worst by tomorrow morning. Apparently it did, by the time i reached the hostel it feel more painful than before...got someone from the group to buy a pack of ice (thank yea) and applied for half an hour.....still it didn't get better....i guess nothing much i can do, it was almost 11, i have to sleep....only 4 hours to sleep...demmit! panic attack!....try not to check the time so often and just packed my stuff and hoping that miracle will happened

race day....SUN 06-12-09
0KM - 10KM
woke up around 3 and get ready to run....i had a good sleep...thank god for that
the pain is still there, but i already set in my head before i went to sleep that i am going to ignore the pain as long as it doesn't stop my leg from running....i will bare to the finishing. well.....that was indeed that i had to deal the entire race

the team & i walked to the race venue around 4am. met k.haza and she told me that someone from s'pore informed her that the suboh prayer was at 5.34....few minutes after the starts time so we decided to pray first. slightly around 5.40 if i remember correctly, i started the race with ann and kerol...yeay!! with lily, irina and ejai cheered us, we made our way thru the starting line. At first, the plan is for her to follow my pace for the first 10k at least before i run with my own and she's with hers. k.haza appeared somewhere between 2-3km and 3 of us ran together shoulder-to-shoulder...with red t-shirts (what a nice coincidence), it felt great!!....for some reason, perhaps get to absorb an aura from an experienced runner like her.....then i had to stop for shishi....ann too...so k.haza continued alone.
starting over at first was ok for ann to follow my pace then she soon disappeared....i looked back few times but i couldn't locate her, the crowd made it more difficult...knowing that kerol is still with her, i decided to continue the run all by myself....although i felt really2 bad for not waiting for her, but i dun think running back or stopping was a good idea because it still the beginning of the race. deep inside i know she'll manage. So im off with steady, slightly slower that normal as i was afraid to henjut too early to avoid any potential injury. I hit 10k at 1hr20mins (target 1hr15m...so im off lil bit)

11KM - 21KM
so far so good.....i step up a lilttle bit and increase my speed, passed by k.haza few km afterward...say hi to her and continue...then i saw sarah but she was running on the other side of the crowd so i just look and continue....until we made a turn towards the east cost park then there were the elite runners (mostly kenyan) already on their way back...i was amazed by these people, how on earth can they run this distance with such a fast pace? makan apa pun tak tahu....the crowd turned crazy and starts cheering...hahaha...best!
coming to 20k, fairul tap on my back, hahaha finally dapat gak jumpa. he told me "lajunya..."so sweet of him, i know it was not true!!!!! hahahaha
lost him few mins later, he get sucked by the crowd (the crowd was super ramai, pretty hard to make a way thru actually). I continue running....non-stop...the target was 25k, so i was on track...clocked at 2hr30mins @ 20K....the same pace i made in penang but this time without stopping
i forgot to mentioned about the pain....it was terrible....every step felt like a punch on the muscle...however, at this distance i still can endured it and put the pain aside
note: caught by tey's camera at this point....i hope i didn't look too hideous
met kak jenap with her santa claus costume and zaki who proudly wearing colorful "balong ayam jantan"....i called them from behind....but i didn't stop as they were walking. 21k at 2hr42 mins....thats mean i was running at 7min/km and planned to stick to it until i hit 25th mark.

22KM-25KM
there was sthg very interesting happend at km24, i was so close to stop running and starts walking.
the crowd was not helping much as majority of them were walking.....my mind keeps telling me "why bother running when everyone is walking". it was until i saw one of the sign laid under the tree besides the track saying "18km to go....keep running", immediately my almost defeated mind woke up and told me "hei...i'm familiar with that distance....i've done 21k before...18k is definitely possible"....i totally forgot that i had run 24k....i forgot the distance i had covered and the only thing i remembered was number 18....then i sensed that my leg didn't stop....hahaha it works! i am still running! and finally i arrived at 25k mark and i stopped awhile to have half packet of power gel. then i saw ann on the other side of the route....waved but she didn't see me, it was too far for me to shout...but i saw kerol in front of her so i know she was in the good hand :)

26KM-30KM
this is the time when the pain gets worst, the salonpas didn't help to reduce the pain, i know i had to put on a very hot cream so i stopped again smwhere around 27th-28th, when i saw one of the runner with the cream stopping,so i just asked some from him, thanks dude. it helps for awhile, but the pain re-appear after few meters. it was painful to even making a small steps i almost broke down into tears....didn't think i can take it anymore....along the entire race i think it was the point where my mind was hanging between DO or QUIT....PROCEED or STOP....the point when i almost defeated entirely :((
Luckily, the leg still running even my mind was not there anymore. The pain has taken over, has taken control...it was pain over mind no longer mind over matters. until i finally reached 30k and i wouldn't believe my eyes when the time was only 3hrs55mins!! seriously....?! i thought i was super slow....!
10k @ 1hr20min = 8min/km
21k @ 2 hr42min = 7.45min/km
30k @ 3hrs50min = 7.55min/km
wasn't that slow as i thought i was!!
suddenly i remember someone told me that he believed that i can do it within 5hr30mins...i doubted first and never intend to try
but then i started to do some estimation. to complete within the target, i have around 1hr40min to complete the remaining 12k, approximately 8.3mins/km
i think i can do that....i want to think i can do that....so this thought pushed me ahead. Syukur Alhamdulillah :)

31KM- 40KM
Pumped up by the idea of completing within 5hr30min, at this mark onward i was taking every km at a time....stop for drink, run afterward then walk for 100-200metres before the next water station. keep the same momentum and taking note of my time so i won't slipped.
it wasn't the idea of achieving the timing that push me, but the idea of me trying to achieve something that i feel within my reach. but, i must say it gave me a little unnecessary pressure, especially when i got so tensed that i almost broke into tears again. first because of the pain that didn't seem to go away, then when i slowly realized i may not be able to push myself hard enuff...and every next km seems longer than before
then i thought of my parents....their strength, their determination....knowing that they are with me spiritually
even i dun think if they are alive, they'll understand my passion toward this running craze but i do know that they will support me all the way, and proud of me trying to achieve the best in anything that i do....airmata dh bertakung masa ni *sob*sob*
the funny thing was, to hold the tears from dropping i had to made this grumpy sound and let the emotion out but it was heard by one of the runner and she looked back at me with a very weird-serious look on her face....hahaha....tak jadi nak sebak!! sori la amoi, cannot help myself la...cheers :P
i reached 40k mark around 5hr19mins....my thought; there's no way i'll manage to speed up within 11 mins to meet the target. so i was letting go...lantakla!! let it be, i'm 2km away from my dream!! yahoooo!!

41KM-42KM
i guess i was wrong....because the last 2km is when the adrenaline started to pump really2 hard, especially when the sound of cheers and music at the finishing line gets more and more clear....i sprint....i can't believe myself, but i did....it was an awesome feeling....topsy-turvy ride of the emotion
i totally didn't remember having the ankle pain, the exhaustion, the down moment....i am heading to the finishing like a superstar hahaha....over sangat ni
but it was true....only those who has a guts to attempt it will know how it feels....as a bonus, the DJ was announcing my name when i was 50m away from the line "32081..HASFIZA RAMLEY....WELCOME BACK!!!" huhuhuhu.....who could've ask more than this?! i know i won't
clocked in 5hrs32min.....and i am waiting for the official time. bottomline is I DID IT!!....reagrdless the time, I DID IT!!!

I AM A MARATHONER!!!!! Alhamdulillah :)

nota kaki: to make me feel better, i take the 2 minutes out for shishi...hahaha...boleh?

ready or not...just hit that damn wall!!

2009-11-30T18:12:00.000-08:00

the attempt

the work in progress

the moment of truth....

like it or not....dun care whether im ready or not...this one i have to face
so, just bang that damn wall fiza!!

the cramp, cekodok, ekiden and eveything in between

2009-10-08T00:33:00.000-07:00

almost 2 weeks now that the training schedule has been followed
there was a minor hiccup on thursday the 1st when i had a muscle cramp on my left thigh after 11km run at putrajaya
didn't know exactly why it happened, so i just stopped running and continue walking back to the meeting point
on friday i thought the pain would go away, but i was wrong...it still there. in fact...worsen
saturday...still there....demmit!
i missed the training at bukit tunku
even though i have taken some of the advice given by other chap ayam's frens it doesn't seem to go away
thus, i think i should at least go to clinic and see if the doctor have better opinion so to the clinic i went,
met with the doctor and here come another issue my BP (not PB)....was low...70/40
as a result i was lectured by the doctor for few more minutes
i may summarized in my own word as "jangan pandai lari je...amik tahu psl kesihatan jugak" hahahaha
it was definitely a wake up call....i trained so hard without listening to my body
it screaming for help (ececeh)....i feel like im torturing myself foolishly
when i know i should drink more, when i know i should take the supplement, when i know my body need some rest sometimes
lesson learned! enuff about that...so the saturday still has long list to be done
went to julie's house for makan2
waited for dee as i do not know the house
dee was stuck at the other fren's house then we both stuck at MRR for hours
arrived there around 5...ate a little (konon, padahal melantak gak) then made a move to menara KL for pink walk
even i realized there's no way that we can make it on time but we still went there to wait for irina and lily at the finishing and of course for the goodie bag....
the walk was fun (i think), by looking at the contestants
then after walk even better when we get to gather and lepak awhile
then im off to putrajaya....called my sister to bring all my cloth for tmrw
since the run will be held in putrajaya, i decided to sleep at my auntie's house
(before i forget...i had se-round of laksa there...makan, makan n makan)
planned to go for early sleep....penat gilos stucked in the jam the entire day
but it failed....chatted with my cousin then continue watching mu's game with my uncle until finally my eyes couldn't take it anymore...i went for my slumber

5.50am my alarm went off and i am ready to go ekekeke
took my bath, performed subuh prayer...and get dressed
out of my surprised my auntie already woke up and prepared my breakfast, the delicious cekodok hangat
although i insist that it won't be necessary becoz we don't eat before running
but she still continue cooking and said "lepas lari kang buleh makan"
terharunya...seriously, i have been running for almost a year, never happened once
another reason is that i've lost my mother for almost 15 years so it was kinda a touching moment for me....
sthg that i cannot help la kan im not try to be sentimental, but the feeling was great
for somebody to be up so early to prepare a breakfast before i went to run
thanks mami! one moment that i will treasure forever :)
cekodok hangat dan nescafe....who would've ask for more

ok...back to run it was kelam-kabut at the beginning i was looking for irina n ann
they was waiting for kerol that was holding our bibs
when all of us suppose to make a move to the bus that going to send ud to our zone
but everything turned up well....finished at 8th place (takyah tanya la kan dr brp team...hahaha)yg penting dpt medal. gambar courtesy dr irina ramli :D

ayam dara hahahaha........

lambat giler update citer ni kat blog tonight i'll be leaving to perhentian hope to write more after the trip

aku dah lari = 58km so far.....142km to go *sigh*

Jadual Latihan = killing me...no?

2009-09-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

66 days to SIM (Singapore International Marathon)

Honestly, I am scare...so many questions running inside my mind

sure or not fiza?
can finish meh?
if cannot how?
if in the middle of the race u fell like stopping how?
can make PB or not? if not than what's the point?

i used to think running for full marathon is not going to be happen at all
something way out of my capability...however there are many stories I heard proved how wrong i was
thus, this silly brain of mind once decided to go for it...at least one time in my life, i have to try it
what's the worst can be happening pun....isn't it?
So, it is now has become either do or die mission

thus, to prepare myself for a big day...my dear fren, irina has designed (couldn't find better word...) a beautiful running schedule

let me share it here, then u tell me weather it is workable or a plan for suicidal hahaha

since I am a runner and runner is a positive people so I think there is no harm to try and so far my heavy butt is still sticking on the plan hahahaha....

just a quick view on the real situation for the last 2 days (so you will get a better picture how crazy this has turned to)

tuesday 20:00 hr - completed 5k
today 01:00 hr - went to sleep
03:00 hr - woke up to watch UCL (arsenal menang huhu)
05:00 hr - cannot tahan, dozed off during half time
06:00 hr - went to work
21:00 hr - completed another 10k (mengheret kaki dn bontot di km yg terakhir)
*nota kaki : tido 3 hours only....siao liao

if this is not crazy enuff....i dun know what is

aja-aja fighting!!!

p/s : hari ni dpt "hadiah" dari kasut baru --> blister yg sangat "cantik"

L.O.S.T

2009-07-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

NOPE! This entry is not related to the drama series...but the idea is pretty similar.
Confuse, tired, angry, which can be summed-up into one word "SUCK"
Surprisingly this feeling will only come at 9am to 1pm...then continue from 2pm to 6pm
Yes u genius people....i feel suck in the office
It started somewhere in the middle of the year
Unknown reasons.... the excitement suddenly stops It’s so easy to tell when

I’m no longer looking forward for Monday (oh yes, usually I really do)
At 12pm i already figure what to have for lunch
Constantly hungry while in the office
I’m not rushing when I’m late for work
6pm everyday is like the end of suffocation
Writing this entry during office hour

I hate this feeling
I know it is wrong because it is where I earn my income
But I cannot help myself
The thing about work it makes me feel important and significant like no other place can
The fact that I get to contribute and fulfill some kind of satisfaction excites me each time
Well… I no longer feel it
No longer motivated
No longer passionate to try new things or explore new challenge

However I do love my frens here
Something I’m sure I cannot gets anywhere else
Perhaps that’s the only reason that I’m still here
Such a selfish person, I am…. am I?

Dun know whom to turn to
Dun know where to move to
Dun know what to do
Im L.O.S.T

Until I really know what to do I think I should take a longgg break…..

Game is so OVER

2009-07-05T05:41:00.000-07:00

Action speaks louder than words
Yeap....your action spoke loud and clear
Thanks for choosing the perfect time and place to broke the news
Kinda admire your way too....one kind of a show...bravo!

I rest my case
Bring my weapon and arms guide down
coz.....now I pronounce it is officially

P/s: Looking for a shoulder to cry on....anyone....hahahaha

Heroin only appear towards the last scene....cesss

2009-07-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

too bored to even think of the tittle

2009-06-27T03:00:00.001-07:00

I dun write much lately coz i dun have much to write about
life kinda boring....now that the soccer's season is over, futsal training just ended
i left with no plan after work *sigh*
and worst my new house do not have astro yet
so what do i do to survive this boredom-ness?
i run - when its not raining
i read books - fnished 2 in few weeks....down to my 3rd one...a little bit thicker this time
i do laundry - huhuhu...i have become like nonie
i watch malay drama - muahahahahaha...................
enuff said....i hope this will change soon
or i have to change something in my life

Apo nak di kato.....

2009-05-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

I hope this entry will not offended anybody
it is just something that i have to let it out from my chest
not that it is been killing me so much
but I started to get sick over the comments and seriously thought of getting the fact straight
(although i know none of them may have read it)

As a lady perhaps I am blessed to be able to eat as much as i want and still maintain the reasonable shape
for that i enjoy wearing cloth that a little bit revealing (the shape of course)
so i got these remark a lot from other ladies (mostly married and have kids)
"slimnya la badan.....akak dulu lom kawin pn kurus camni"
"comei je baju....lom beranak lagi bulehla pakai camni"

NO OFFEND
but i have to correct this mentality
YES...i have not married
YES...i have not being pregnant and blotted few times to give birth to any child yet

but
NO...i didn't get this figure just by laying on the bed after taken my meal...or dessert...or chocolate
NO...it is not that my body being 'nice' to me because i am 30 years old, single lady that they decided to granted me with slim figure due to sympathy-ness

I work my a** out to maintain this figure
because i know i love eating so much
because i realize as im reaching this age the metabolisme started to slow down
seriously because I WANT it!

it is all about attitude ladies
stop giving excuses to yourself
knowing the capability of your body and be firm on what you want
i know most of you may say "belum kawin lagi boleh la cakap"
that is the attitude that we malay (i hate to say this...) good at

"bukan tak nak....tak sempat"
"muda2 dulu laratla....dah kawin, ada anak...tak larat dah"
"mana nak jaga anak lagi...laki lagi....nak masak, basuh..."
how sad is that? is that marriage is all about?

knowing some of the runners through this year's event
i met with plenty of older generation ladies that succesfully maintain their figure
they are still able to run and living a healthy lifestyle, in fact competing with younger generation
I am so impressed with them....because I know it is not something that will come easily
I know, how the body function is different from one person to another and certainly not within our control
however, if you work hard enough...u may find a way to make the system "co-operate" with you
its all come down to how much you WANT it

bak kata pepatah org tua-tua
"kalau tak dipecahkan ruyung, manakan dapat sagunya"
kalau tak dipecahkan lemak, mana nak kurusnya.....hahahahaha
peace :)

menang bergaya pun jadi ler...

2009-04-08T19:34:00.000-07:00

I am so into running now
I run almost every morning (if it is not raining)
I plan to run after work....just most of the time ended up menjoyah kat kedai kopi hahaha

so, since i've been running regularly now
I think i have enough justification to splurged myself with the cool gadgets
yg proven to kopak my pocket without so much improving my performance
hahaha.....menang bergaya pun jadik ler....

with me....

2009-03-25T03:06:00.000-07:00

i may wrongly chose words to say
i may wrongly take yours
i may wrongly act
as i dun know how to play this role
as i am new in this game
bare with me while im learning
walk with me along the way
i promise i will do my best

as i do have the best to offer
only when the time is right :)

Top 10 V

2009-03-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

As known by everyone, i just came back from vietnam. Gone for 7 days trip with a friend of mine (two singles ladies on a trip). When we first mentioned the plan to other frens, the most FAQs received was "why vietnam...?"....even the MAS steward asking the same question. Honestly, I didn't have a clue as well. It just happend one day i felt like going out for travel....and knowing that bonus will be out soon after that (ehem ehem)
and vietnam popped up on my head. Asked any fren who is interested to join and there she was, a dear fren linda told me she haven't been there and wanted to come along. Cut the story short, we booked the ticket straight-up...made a simple itineray plan (which happened to be memang simple) and did it! now the journey's over....so, i think i have enough answers for that question. This list basically tells the differences that we may not get to see much in malaysia. I will put it into rank according to my least fav to most .

so here i present you all with Top 10 V....huhuhu mcm kat E! channel plak.

10. Road speedlimit -
how would u feel driving at PLUS highway maintaining at 80km/h all the way? I cannot imagine myself either...i would probably dozed off and before i know it, my car might have been landing upside-down inside the highway's longkang. Believe it or not the taxi driver told us that the max speedlimit in V's road is 50km/h....no wonder it took us 3 hours for 100 over km journeys. I fell off and out of sleep too many times that i think i wet my scarve with my air liur basi.

9. Eating along the sidewalk -
with a small table and stools parked in front a shop u can see local people having their meal together. Its pretty
interesting to watch when they taking their time to eat while chit-chatting. remind me of our 24 hours mamak stall in malaysia....only here in a smaller scale. Once i caught them watching arsenal's game from a small tv also put on the sidewalk....dem! the game that i missed

8. Nice and clean hotel room -
Going for budget trip means everything has to be within certain budget including the hotels that we stay. We were
staying in few budget hotels (since we were moving around). Looking from the neighbourhood, I didn't have a good feeling at first (bangunan sesak dan tempat agak kotor), however i was wrong. The hotel were fine...neatly organized and I may say worth the money put. That is one of the reason, we spent more time in the room compare to walked outside. hahahaha padahal malu nak admit we both memang kuat tidur!

7. Sawah padi -
yeap, we do have this in malaysia....but its getting less and less now while in V, u'll get to see sawah padi along the way....while u r on the bus, on the taxi or even train.....saujana mata memandang. Magnificent....soothing....it was like back to the old days when i was staying with my grandmother kat kampung and paddy field was my fav place...(i used to practice my singging there also :P)

6. Vinh Moc Tunnel -
The Vinh Moc tunnel complex was built to shelter the people of Son Trung and Son Ha communes in Vinh Linh county of Quang Tri Province and located deep in the Vietnamese Demilitarized Zone. It was constructed in several stages beginning in 1966 and used until 1971. The complex grew to include wells, kitchens, rooms for each family and spaces for healthcare. Around 60 families lived in the tunnels; as many as 17 children were born inside the tunnels as well (copy & paste). Walked along the tunnel makes me wonder the strength and determination that these people have in surviving. While looking at the picture on what left after the attacked was heartbreaking....kenapa mesti ada perang?! *siggh*

5. Train with mouse -
When u bought a train ticket (soft-sleeper) in V, u'll get a small bed, small pillow, blanket and mouse as a complementary gift. hahaha no kidding....so u can play hide-and seek to kill ur time through the
whole night journey. Fun experience, for those u is allergic to mouse...i would suggest u to take bus/flight instead.

4. Citadel, Hue -
It is an Imperial city located at Hue (center of V). Skip the history lesson, basically it is a huge area that the king used to stay. the king has many wives and each with one palace....the king was so dem rich, that place has its own entertainment building, library, i wonder how many toilets it may have in there :P....overall it is an interesting place to visit. At times, i feel like being in one of the hong kong series...imagining how beautiful that place used to be as it still hold some of its unique architecture design.

3. Motorcyclists -
hundreds or maybe thousands of them on the street...small street. mat-rempit mesti nangis tengok skill orang2 kat sini bermotosikal. we were stunned when we first saw the numbers of them on the road. we didn't dare to cross...it is like commiting a suicide. then we saw one local guy made a cross without even look on the road, appearantly all these motorcyclist will avoid him. mengelak, mcm messi dribble bola....smooth and quick. Then we saw another guy did the same. So, we realized the best way to cross the road in V is JUST DO IT....they are well
trained to not bumped into pedestrian (i suppose). do not hesitate becoz it may get the motorcyclist confuse where u r heading....just go straight, dun belok-belok n dun stop in the middle of the street :D
InsyaAllah selamat....

2. Halong Bay -
Amazingly beautiful....no description can do this place a justice...u have to see it yourself and ranked as no. 1 is.....

1. Pee-man-show -
They are man, well dressed sometimes...grown up man that couldn't hold their tank any longer and decided to do the biz anywhere that they like. on the tree in the park, beside the highway, behind the shops...anywhere that they want it to. We first shocked but couldn't help ourself to make fun out of it later after that. We decided to have a
contest..."who gets to see the most number of pee-man"....i think i get to see 7-8 times, my fren saw quite the same number but she carry an extra mark for get to see one of that man's d*ck....hahahha....cis kalah pulak di
situ! muahahahaha......i think i dun mind losing becoz of that :P

Here we come

2009-03-02T09:03:00.000-08:00

will be leaving to vietnam tomorrow
will be there for 6 days
will be going with my dear fren dee
btw, she is a lady...nice and sweet lady (promo sket)
will be my first time visiting other country with my own pocket money
(what an achievement hahaha...)
will be going to halong bay
will be taking transit train from hanoi to ho chi minh (the most intense part...book pun tak lagi)
will be staying in a cheap hotel coz it is a budget trip hahaha
last but not least, definitely will be having fun even though i am pretty nervous how will this vacation turn up to be

just bought a backpack bag...40L karrimor (not korrimor huhuhu)all these years panjat gunung dok pinjam beg org, dah tua baru nak beli sendiri (duhhhh....)

also bought a new sandals coz i only have either high heels or sport shoes, none in between
thinking back, belum pegi lagi dah spending so much...sengal!

however,
still tonnes of work to be settled
hundreds of problems to be solved in the office
my dear handphone jatuh sakit so whoever that call me couldn't hear a sound
how's that for a start...? ehmm....no point whine about these issues now
might as well focus on the trip....wish everything ends up well there

vietnam....here we come :)
yahooo.....

if only i had....

2009-01-27T17:52:00.000-08:00

Thumbs up for the person that came out with the idea of this commercial.
as for myself, i have been in struggle to maintain a good relationship with my father in a similar way. I might say that I have most of my father's gene...i have his temper, his stubbornest, his sense of humor...all in all his personality
however, thats when the difficult part comes...it hards for us to communicate due to this

its not that i do not try to understand him, but i couldn't sometimes
he doesn't seem to let go and i am too tired to figure things up
so i do enough to fulfill my responsibilities as a daughter (from my own point of view)
give money every month, go back on time everyday, do anything that he might asked
i stop to listen...i stop to care....i stop to communicate in a way a daughter should be to her father
perhaps it doesn't makes me a "anak derhaka"...isn't it?
but what have that makes to us? two people living under the same rooftop like a strangers

at least now i realize, it is not so hard to please our parents
small gesture of care, short time to listen, some initiative to greet
that is what i think i should do and doing right now
may i be a better daughter...as i do not want to be like that guy in the commercial
that one day saying "if only i had..." when there is nothing more can be done
better late than never....right

Valentine at Paris

2009-01-06T07:40:00.002-08:00

Since my first trip to the most romantic place (as it is being claimed)
these few months is the time when i really miss it
yeap...i miss the place where i only get to spend 1 day (i might say) there
dun get to do much walking becoz the temperature was 2 deg celcius
but yet, i miss it....dunno how to describe...
feel like i want to be there even if only in my dream (seriously)

Suddenly, the best thing happened
itinerary of the training was out today
I was so excited when I know that I need to stop at Paris before move to pforzhiem
and I will be in Paris on 14th of Feb ok...dun make any assumption yet, I am not a typical luvy-duvy person that celebrating valentine. Never! But i know, holding the reputation of the most romantic place I just can't wait to see what paris has to offer during that day

Another thing is...i did not go on the eiffel tower last time
because I want at least when i go up there, I am with someone special
as I promise myself I will go there again, should i miss it this time around?

New year....Old me

2009-01-01T18:31:00.000-08:00

people here and there is updating their resolution
everybody seems to be extra enthusiastic, i guess its a new year fever
as for me...dun have much interesting stuff going on
honestly i hate festive season, i usually sit at home with no plan and bored to death as i "have" totake leave. tapi please be informed, i am not a workaholic, just rather to be in the office than at home. coz in the office i can chit-chatting :P

so it is new year.......bla bla bla
i dun even remember my 2008 plan, wonder if i even made one (?) but looking at my achievement rasanya not so bad la....except still not found anyone dare enuff to marry me yet hahahaha

here some of the reason why i dun plan:

1. i am a messy gal
2. i am a messy gal
3. still a messy gal

so, messy gal dun follow plan
(i'll let u know me personally to know how messy i can be)

but messy gal knows what she wants and when she wants it and everything will start from there

at this time point, messy gal is looking forward for these things to be accomplished next year:

1. new house
2. new boifren
3. germany
4. vietnam
5. bandung-surabaya
6. more books to read
7. new sexy figure (im not so optimistic...sipi2 mcm jessica alba will do just fine hahaha)
8. part time job (sbb almost penny-less every month ni)

and if messy gals happen to step on a 'golden leaf' she wanted also to

1. scuba dive @ perhentian (extra few thousands ringgit)
2. watching arsenal game @ emirates (extra few thousands ringgit and long leaves)
3. driving new car (ehmm...sugar daddy needed kot)

quite full jugakla the schedule i think....

moral of the story : plan banyak2 pun takde guna...what u need is determination!

jejak kasih

2008-11-30T07:18:00.000-08:00

how to find a fren that u have been communicate over email for quite sometimes
met few times but never asked for his phone no
suddenly he just disappear from world wide web

i have tried to find thru facebook and friendster but i got
"0 results found"

how ah...?

pegi LAUNCHING....

2008-11-28T23:46:00.000-08:00

this morning i went to see the new house that we plan to buy (insyaAllah)
escorted by an old guard, took few minutes to look around the house and prepared to leave after that. i like with the way the old guard entertaining the customer, he is informative considering his age (he is ~70 of age)
on our way to the car there were two old chinesse uncles passed by and the guard greeted them in mandarin asking where are they going

"launching....makan free"

i didn't get it at first, then i heard the guard said "mo ah....sudah habis"
still didn't get it, until i heard my sister said "oh nak pegi rumah baru launching"

later that i know both of them staying one block away from the house that we went.

i found it so funny that these two old uncles made an effort (the venue was up on the hill), with an umbrella in their hands, short bermuda and t-shirt made a slow walk only to go for "makan free". they were so cute....with a smile on their face..."pegi launching"
hahahahahahahaha

last word: uncles ha...u really made my day!

walau sekejap.....

2008-11-28T02:09:00.000-08:00

walau ku hanya dpt memilikimu untuk sekejap cuma
aku cukup puas hati.....muahahahahaha

I may dressed up so profesionally but.....

2008-11-19T08:46:00.000-08:00

(in the office ye kengkawan)

(a) I like to 'bersila' on my chair...it feels more comfortable sitting like that although the tendency to get 'sesemut' is very high

(b) Whenever I want to do my 'big business' I tend to make an announcement (with a good intention : so that my officemate will not have a difficulty if there is anyone tried to find me). however sometimes half of the office might hear it or through the powerful mouth-to-mouth medium, the news will travel up until the other dept

me : ita, aku nak gi kareb (read from the back)
ita : hahahaha......ok
lan : fiza mana?
ita : dia pegi kareb
lan balik ke workstation dia located at the other side of the office....when he saw noni tried to reach me at my ext
lan: fiza takde kat tempat dia, dia gi kareb
noni : oh ye ke....patutla tak angkat
see....suddenly the entire office knows that i am doing my 'big business'...sengal!!

(c) My best friend in the office is ayu, the supervisor that sit on the production floor. Whenever i want to call her i will just shout from my table which is around few hundred meters from hers. it sounded so familiar kan? thats how siti tanjung perak called he daughter in bujang lapuk movie....hahaha...yeap exactly like that. At first, i got a harsh look from others that passed by, now that they used to it, the looks is simply go away

(d) Same goes happen when another fren in QA dept, noor called me to ask something. (our office is opposite to each other...separated by a hallway). our own principle in the office "opis ku macam rumah ku"

noor : fizaaaa....
me : oiii....apa?
noor : jhggicgsx ggygbxjhazjha jxhgjgb
me : ok :)

moral of the sorry....dun judge a book by its cover....the cover can be nice n colourful, the content can be a little bit notty hahahha...

marilah membaca...

2008-11-19T08:22:00.000-08:00

just finished reading this book....gila bangga i get to finish it within a week
(walaupun aku kerap terlelap masa baca....about this i may need to create another entry)
thanks to joe for suggesting this author to me....else i'll be with john grisham je la

since i am so keng (i think its mandarin word for hebat), tomorrow i will have to get a new book to read
else aku sangap mangap. I heard one of paulo's greatest novel ever written is this, guess i'll grab this one.yeay

gunners for life....!!!

2008-11-11T08:59:00.000-08:00

perasaan yang sukar digambarkan
from the kick-off until the final whistle
jantung mcm nak pecah, tangan gigil-gigil, kaki non-stop shaking hahahaha
only the real fan knows what i am talking about
finally....sweet winning by gunners...although i think more goals should be scored by the lads
pertanyaan kepada all the critics: LOOK WHO'S f*%$%* LAUGHING NOW

nota kaki: I was not in the pic....but they are my gooner's frens...way to go guys!

screw up....screw me!!!

2008-11-11T08:34:00.000-08:00

looking at the pattern of my entry lately it seems that i have nothing better to do than thinking about guys....in my quest for the love of my life (as it suppose to be)
what is happening to me?
this is what happened when you watch too much love story
listen to too much of couple's story
reading too much bout the magical of loves
screw me! I shouldn't have started doing that in the first place
my life is good as i am now, why should i complain?
whats makes me thing that by having a companion it will make my life better
hell to all of the people that try to advice me on this
friends giving support bla bla bla...but at the end of the day it will be ME facing this shit alone
notice the singularity there...?? Its never changed
they can tell thousands of explanation....but the only answer that i can tell here is that
"i have been an idiot for letting this whole uncertainties wonder around my head....let it go so deep inside that i cannot find a way to dig it out again"
as a result, i suddenly become a zombie
"what..? r u talking to me?...sorry i wasn't listening"
yeap...u'll hear that a lot from me lately
"i am having a chest pain....adoi" while punching on my chest as if it will help to ease the pain
or simply....ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i am such an idiot
perhaps i really need to "mandi bunga" as claimed by ayu
hahahaha....that gal really makes me laugh very-very hard today
guess what...I am laughing to my idiotness

monthly recap

2008-10-31T08:47:00.000-07:00

it has been almost a month ( or more ) that i stop writing anything here
so much had happened that i would love to put it here but who cares to read anyway
the purpose of this blog is for me to let go all feelings over anything or simply a medium for me to merepek

so let's just go the summary

that guy left and replaced with another colleague which i find more comfortable with
that doesn't mean i did not enjoy his company but sometimes changes are good...and this is better
something that haunted me all this while finally came to an end last Wednesday
it was a tiring day....went all over KL to hand out the 'items' with heels, ehmm sometimes i just couldn't understand myself.
so, i guess it is time to move on...like i told my fren..move on to some place with better everything
from the money until the options of guys hahahaha...berangan
but...some down moments occurred
no need to go into details
the active life is now started again...and im pretty tired already
it is sleeping time liao

till next entry

relationship metaphor

2008-10-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

i never been into any serious relationship
(hahaha....quite funny considering my age now)
yeah whatever....and yet i still have my own idea of relationship of man and woman
this is how i put it

when i play tennis, of course i am talking about a pair game (duhh...takkan single plak)
usually i will keep changing partner
some are pretty competitive
some just play for fun
some are good
some are so-so not good (hehehe)
but that are not all the matters when playing tennis
because for me, i can be very competitive and yet i do not like to be "corrected" all the time but i still would like to have fun playing
so when i've been paired with a good one, they can be either too serious or too playful
this will effect my performance....one will makes me laugh semanjang (so i tend to loose focus) while the other one will makes me tense
i still can win the game sometimes so there is nothing wrong with that, it just that i dun really enjoy the game
i prefer the one that can play well and also knows when he should giving comment and knows how to complement his partner
as a result, i played better...i enjoyed the game and having so much fun
somehow, people get tired so there is a point when this perfect partner left me to get a rest
at first i find it hard after he left....i feel like missing something
thus, the game starts to feel dull and boring and i loose focus
but after sometimes, due to my competitiveness i will start to pick up with the game and trying my best to fight back and enjoying the game like before

buleh paham ka?

here how i interpret above scenario
in finding the one is not by looking at what he has...or how he is
it is more on how well both of you get together
how he makes you comfortable in the relationship
but, sometimes relationship can turn sour
the one might leave you for another gal or simply lost the feeling
you will feel like the end of the world
you will cry 24-7
however, if you look back into yourself....the kind of person you are before
sometimes living the life alone is not bad at all
continue the fight...enjoying every moment of it

although i never been in serious relationship before
i might not know if im choosing the right one or not
but i surely knows how does the feeling when i get a good partner while playing tennis
so i guess the feeling more or less will be the same isn't it?
hahahaha...thats me.....

apa? tak kenal

2008-10-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

the conversation i had with two of my nephews on our way to my auntie's open house

me : along ngan angah tengok bola tak? mak lang suka sangat tengok bola
along : tengok jugak kadang2
me : sapa yg korang kenal
(both kept quite...hish budak2 ni susah kalau open ended question)
me : david beckham?
both : kenal
me : ronaldo?
both : kenal
me : dia main team mana?
both : manchester united
(huh....not bad)
me : rooney
both : kenal
me : siapa lagi...yg along minat siapa?
along : torres
me : oh apsal minat torres?
along : sbb dia jaring banyak goal
(cess...adebayo jaring lg banyak)
me : abis minat team mana?
along : liverpool
(cess.....team yg play boring football)
me: sapa lagi dlm liverpool yg along minat?
along : gerrard la
me : fabregas tak kenal? dia lagi terer
both : tak kenal
*speechless*

nasib baik anak buah, kalau tak dah lama kena tinggal tepi jalan hahahaha
akan aku convertkan mereka menjadi fan arsenal satu hari nanti
caiyok!

Mamma Mia....my my

2008-10-12T04:01:00.000-07:00

when i first heard about this movie, i kinda interested to watch it for two reasons...first, i luv oldies songs (my fren called me org lama yg stuck in the modern world coz of this) and secondly becoz i like meryl streep although i am not really a big fan but i wanted to see how is she going to pull this musical role...but after finally watched it last nite, suprisingly i get soooo much more

here are lots of other reasons that i luv about this movie

the cast - older generation and young generation share the same screen and did a wonderful job
got to hear the heartthrob and handsome ex-james bond singing....machonya suara dia
the place - i kept saying Subhanallah everytime i see the sea n the island....oh my, i wish to go there...Skopelos, Greece...seriously considering it...the clear water, the scenery....Subhanallah
dance...dance and dance....i feel like jump on my seat and follow their steps, simple but energetic
the storyline...brilliant idea of getting the story short but so deeply touching...a quest of a daughter to know her real father and the quest of a long lost love
the friendship shown....kinda envy with sophie and her mother donna for having such a great frens despite the distance between them. i wonder when i gets old like donna, will i be as lucky as her? que sera sera
my fav part is when donna helping sophie to prepare for her wedding with "Slipping Through My Fingers" song as a background....makes me miss arwah mak so much while watching that scene...almost shed a tears, luckily i didn't....it was sooo sweet

so i personally recommended all my frens to watch it....i hardly do this coz i hardly watching movie (great movie)
in fact im planning to go and watch it for 2nd...3rd...and 4th round perhaps
anyone care to belanja? hehehehe....

why i luv arsenal...?

2008-09-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

When football gets close to art, and the communication between the players is right so that everybody does something intelligent when he has the ball it becomes art and it's the moment of the beauty when you enjoy watching -Mr. Arsene Wenger, 2002

With such philosophy, do I have to say more...?
There is no club made me mesmerized as arsenal did....luv them so much

i luvfootball since i was less than 10 years old
I've been watching malaysian league n cup since then
But only after world cup 98 that i started to set an eye on international matches
At first the reason that i watch most of arsenal's game was because of KING HENRY
I fell in love with his skills and his style
but after he left arsenal last season to barcelona, i decided to stay with the team
because he might be the reason i've been an arsenal fan, but arsenal's game play that makes me stay....perhaps for a long long time

arsenal dulu, kini dan selamanya :D

(written on sept 19th)

one of my fav moment.....

2008-09-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

it is when i switch the lights off
put on my pyjama and curling on my messy bed
while listening to a soft jazz songs by norah jones
put my mind into blank mode
taking a break from my full time job as a crap thinker
staring on the darkness and just let the sweet song rush into my brain
oh how i love that moment, as if i can live like that forever
thanks norah...for a great, wonderful and beautiful piece of art

One flight down
There's a song on low
And your mind just picked up on the sound
Now you know you're wrong
Because it drifts like smoke
And it's been there playing all along
Now you know
Now you know

The reeds and brass have been weaving
Leading into a single note

In this place
Where your arms unfold
Here at least you see your ancient face
Now you know
Now you know

The cadence rolls in broken
Plays it over and then goes

One flight down
There's a song on low
And it's been there playing all along
Now you know
Now you know

really speaks meh..?

2008-09-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

ok...this might not be soooooo big deal
perhaps its because im a gal and gals like
to relate everything with everything else
perhaps its because it does related
perhaps its just it....done...move on
or perhaps i want it to be related? ehmm....susah nak jawab ni

reffering to my entry in a middle of the nite yesterday
yeah that one which was total crap...
merepek and it just me being jiwang for few minutes
but turned out today something happened
but again...it is not something so serious
just a sweet coincidence...which i really wish didn't happen
coz i knew there is a possibility for it to happen
but it does happened...and when it does, jantung mcm nak jatuh
OMG could that be a sign? (here i am again...making a big deal of it)
but seriously....could it be something
or am i wishing for something out of that something?
ohhh....stop it fiza!

but...it still a pretty sweet coincidence though
now i wonder....do our hearts really speak???

(written on sept 10th)

heart speaks meh..?

2008-09-27T07:42:00.000-07:00

"im here
you are there
our mouths shut
do our hearts speak?"

mood jiwang...
well it is 12.09am rite now, what do you guys expect
furthermore thats is what blogs are for....
u write nonsense thing today regret it tomorrow and yet
back with the same kind of writing the next day

who was i talking bout up there?
ehmmm...guess the answer would be
lu pikirla sendiri *wink*

(written on sept 9th...midnite)

dem...that smile

2008-09-27T07:40:00.000-07:00

he smiled and i melt.....dem!

(written on sept 9th)

Transfering data

2008-09-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

i left this blog for sometimes...last few weeks i decided to start writing again
but my office has blocked blogspot so i decided to change to another address
but i dun like it...so i decided to transfer everything here
well i have to give credit to blogspot for their user-friendly fixture
so gang...embrace urself through the transfer period
its going to be berderet2 posts for tonite
(mcm la ada pembaca setia...hahaha)

Nostalgia Pengat Pisang

2007-07-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

musim2 durian ni teringat aku satu nostalgia lama...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Venue : Kg Legung Ulu, Kota NS
Time : Malam raya....long2 time ago

Terpandang 2 bijik durian kat bawah almari lauk

aku : durian dapek kek mano ni wan?
wan : durian kek belakang tu ha, berbuah lak tahun ni...tapi tu yo yg tinggal
aku : ohhh....org suko makan pongat durian, kot buek pongat best ni (sambil tersengih mcm kerang busuk)...and left

Venue : Kg Legung Ulu, Kota NS
Time : Pagi raya....long2 time ago

As usual, wan den busy kek dapur....

aku : wan, masak apo laie tu..??
wan : pongat durian...kan ko kato nak mkn smlm

I'm stunned.....the greatest love of all

wan....miss u so much

Look who's talking

2007-06-15T01:27:00.000-07:00

ramai gak kengakwn aku yg selalu quote..."kau pandai cakap" or "lawan cakap ngan kau mana leh menang"
ye ke...?

looking back, maybe betul jugak. im not sure whether its something that i was born with atau pun satu skill yang aku acquired sepanjang hidup aku yang penuh dugaan ni (ececeh)
contohnya masa aku kecik2 dulu....competition among cousins agak sengit. mana taknya human production from both grandparents aku mmg above average. in order to get the attention yg aku nak, i have to make sure that i'm on top of everything....and if im involved in any fight with any of them (even dgn org tua) aku tak nak kalah. yang paling aku ingatla

during a fight over apa ntah (yg pastinya benda remeh la) ngan one of my cousin
aku : bak sini pisau, biar aku bunuh budak tu
mak : kau nak bunuh anak org, nak masuk penjara?
aku : dok dalam penjara pun derang bagi makan, tak mati punya
mak : *terdiam*

bila dah keje pulak, the game is now different. kalau nak 'bunuh' pun kena cara halus. tapi sama jugak competition is extremely height i cannot afford to loose. so ability untuk giving answer for all sort of question...technically, non-tecnical or even personal stuff is highly required. ada masa terover la jugak, once during the interview boleh plak manager tu cakap "you seem to like arguing"....hehehe, i guess it was in a negative way pasal aku tak dapat job tuh. sure dia pikiaq....payah aku nak handle budak ni nanti. cheh!!

i tried once to change...but failed. its like faking the whole thing about ur ownselves....sucks. so like it or not, you just have to accept me as what i am. but...its annoyed me so much kalau ada orang yg selalu sgt bagi alasan untuk buat sthg...without even trying. for few times i'll try to tolerate, tapi kalau berterusan.....memang nak kena la ngan aku. takpun aku tinggalkan je sorang2, padan muka!

*posting psl diri aku lagi.....ni la padahnya bila takde keje kat office

Doctor Syima.....doctor dietku

2007-06-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

lovexoxohug (10:59): eh.. u nye thigh big kan
has (10:59): ha'ah
lovexoxohug (10:59): u buat la body challenge
lovexoxohug (10:59): 4 weeks
lovexoxohug (10:59): u kena set goal nak kecikkan 1-2 inci bulan ni
has (11:00): pastu..?
lovexoxohug (11:00): n makan tu jaga, if u makan mcm biasa
lovexoxohug (11:00): n u keep building muscles u akan besar la
lovexoxohug (11:00): u have to lose body fat then grow ur muscle , baru balance
lovexoxohug (11:01): bukan besar sebab muscle..sebab atas muscle tu ada fat layer
lovexoxohug (11:01): so dia tolak la naik atas
lovexoxohug (11:01): tapi muscle bukan naik kat atas dulu.. muscle tumbuh dari dalam
has (11:03): technical jugak explanation u ni
has (11:03): hehehe
has (11:03): kalau bahasa mmudahnya, i kena diet dulu
has (11:03): then baru bersenam?
lovexoxohug (11:03): aha, diet tu bukan u tak makan langsung
lovexoxohug (11:03): atau diet macam orang nak lose weit
lovexoxohug (11:04): u nye diet ni namanya fat loss diet
has (11:04): contains..?
lovexoxohug (11:05): just kurangkan makan a BIT
lovexoxohug (11:05): dalam 100 kalori tu
lovexoxohug (11:05): sikit jer
lovexoxohug (11:05): u nye tinggi berapa
has (11:06): 154 je
lovexoxohug (11:06): berat?
has (11:07): selalunya around 49
lovexoxohug (11:07): masalahnye u nye berat ideal
lovexoxohug (11:07): tapi end up kat tempat lain
has (11:08): betul
lovexoxohug (11:08): u kena besarkan dada u lah
lovexoxohug (11:08): not breast tapi bahu
has (11:08): tapi i like my upper body
lovexoxohug (11:09): just work u punya atas tu.. sikit demi sikit.. n stop bila u see dah ada balance
lovexoxohug (11:09): doesnt mean u kena buat push up 100x
lovexoxohug (11:09): 20x cukup
lovexoxohug (11:09): so nanti nampak badan u macam hour glass
lovexoxohug (11:09): fat intake tu kurangkan
lovexoxohug (11:09): sugar lagi la so lemak u kat peha terbakar lah
lovexoxohug (11:10): so tak yah work hard on your shoulders
lovexoxohug (11:10): lagi cepat
has (11:10): i dh start minum green tea utk replace nescafe
has (11:10): ok tak?
lovexoxohug (11:10): dedua ok nescafe boleh elakkan breast cancer
lovexoxohug (11:10): tapi takleh minum selalu
lovexoxohug (11:10): boleh taruk gula sikit je a
lovexoxohug (11:11): minum yang packet 3 in 1
lovexoxohug (11:13): green tea pun ok lagi bagus
lovexoxohug (11:13): nescafe tu 3x seminggu ok la
has (11:14): hehe
has (11:14): pastu kan mlm2 i either makan nasi sikit atau tak makan nasi langsung
lovexoxohug (11:14): hoi! sebab tu la badan tak sama
has (11:14): makan roti + telur +daging + salad
lovexoxohug (11:14): jangan go for fad diet
lovexoxohug (11:14): mmg body u akan berubah nanti
lovexoxohug (11:15): dari hourglass terus jadi lain
lovexoxohug (11:15): nasi boleh makan a
lovexoxohug (11:15): satu hari u nye nasi tu boleh makan 1 1/2 cup
lovexoxohug (11:16): 3 keping roti sehari
has (11:16): makan roti + telur +daging + salad <-- tak ok ke nih??
lovexoxohug (11:16): tak, telur dah ada cholestrol daging pun sama
has (11:16): ohh
lovexoxohug (11:17): ubi sebiji potong dadu goreng garing
lovexoxohug (11:17): pastu taruk bawang then taruk telur
lovexoxohug (11:18): taruk lada n garam makan ngan kicap
has (11:19): itu buleh replace nasi?
lovexoxohug (11:19): boleh
lovexoxohug (11:19): nasi, ubi, roti, pasta, mi tu sama je lah
lovexoxohug (11:19): kalu u makan roti pun sama juga macam makan nasi
has (11:19): mlm kang kne buat diet seminggu la camni
lovexoxohug (11:19): 100 calorie gak
has (11:20): then kena kurangkan jogging..?
has (11:20): lebihkan swimming..?
lovexoxohug (11:21): ya

thanks a lot doc....!

Expectation hurts

2007-06-10T19:59:00.000-07:00

There is this phrase I heard on the tv last nite saying "do not expect anything from anyone, 9 out 10 will let you down". This sentence came into reality last Saturday…. What more can I say, it hurt like hell. For once after so long, I made this mistake, one mistake that I always-careful not to take but eventually I took due to my emotional weakness (perempuan argghh...!). Since then I hate looking into myself in the mirror…couldn’t stop blaming
For not being prettier
For not being slimmer
For not being softer
For not being manja
Frens are great, being so supportive…telling me what should I do
I know it well…. Call me crazy, call me naïve, call me stupid….i dun give a damn
I may be laughing at my own stupidity when I read this post again in the future
But what the hell…..
today it’s not matter of what I should or shouldn’t do
It’s the day to let it all out…. be stupid…cry for god knows how long…blaming myself more
hating myself more…..anything crazy enuff to release this sadness I have inside.
As I promise myself, that this will be the last time I will allow myself to repeat this mistake.
Never again will I expect anything from anyone…..ever

Please la weh....

2007-06-08T01:48:00.000-07:00

I wish there is a book called "chatting for dummies" coz some people really pissed me off with their stupid question when they chat with me the first time. I believe they are not stupid as they sound but its their smart brain tell them that it is funny to chat like that.....oh please. The hardest part was, due to some reason i have to maintain some level of courteous with these people. Kalau tak.....memang la manusia2 ini aku campakkan je ke laut china selatan atau jurang2 laut kat filipina tu. It such a turn off and it bored me to death. My wish for today.....please dun let this type of people come near me for the next 10 years. Perhaps when im older and wiser, i will have enuff patient to talk to these species, until then let me live in peace in this small cyber world of mine. PLEASE....!

Expulsion of air from the nose

2007-06-04T02:22:00.000-07:00

a symptom consisting of the involuntary expulsion of air from the nose
or in other word...sneezing

its been almost a week i've been sneezing
hidung dah macam nak tercabut
and my voice start to sound like some rock singer...or should i say so masculin (garau gila)
talking about that, i can say 99% people that called me/i called notice it and
99% of them asked "demam ke" and even giving short advice to me although it doesn't help much. At least they care (i think)....except that 1% or should i say that 1 person
kenapa la sengal sangat dia ni..?
so insensitive, that is the best explanation for that...definitely
but why..? tak paham sungguh aku....i thought i get to change him
i know im pretty good in this....ok, i get him to talk to me about anything
but i just couldn't make him to be a little bit sensitive about people's feeling
i think i'm started to loose it....camne eik..?

From sekinchan with love....

2007-06-04T01:39:00.001-07:00

It wasn't part of the plan

The plan was to attend a wedding of mrs. sato only

but on our way back, we decided to stop at mr. alan's house

which according to him, the rooftop of his house was captured in mukhsin's movie

yelah tu....tak caya la

perhaps he was bluffing on that one but the fact that the scenary of his house is mukhsin's look alike.....sawah padi, ada parit and titi kecik mmg sebijik mcm dlm filem tuh

I always wanted to go to this kind of places (although i was raised in kampung)..finally i got a chance. Alhamdulillah

3 of us (cikin, zura n i) were like a KL kids that just saw a cow....j*bo giler

we went crazy and keep saying "wahhh..." from the moment we stepped into his house

check out some of the pictures taken and u'll see clearly how j*bo we were

Life is beautiful...my life is beautiful

2007-03-12T18:21:00.000-07:00

Early this month i went to melaka for jalan-jalan
the main purpose was to have ikan bakar at muara sg. duyung ( a famous one)
but, since it's a weekend and everyone have taken their time off, we decided to spent overnite there. To fill up time, we even went to taman buaya (imagine a bunch of adults having fun shouting at all those lazy and fat crocodiles...macam org gila). It was fun, i get to relax my mind for awhile. The best part was...a new friendship found and im glad it happened.

Another interesting part of it was when me and SQ had our breakfast in mekdi (cikin yg eja mcm ni), i dunno how it was started but we ended up talking about our life experience. As for me, my childhoood kinda hard coz im coming from "not-so-well-do" family, always struggle for money. It wasn't my attention to attract anyone's synpathy but out of my suprise, she took it pretty serious and she started to cry...alamak. lembutnya hati dia ni. She even mentioned that she never thought that im having such a tough life before. It is true but looking back for those days, it wasn't all bad....in fact i do believe that i had a beautiful childhood life that im not going to trade it for any price at all. Here a glimpse of my hard yet wonderful journey.

we didn't have a car until i was fourteen, so before that i went to school by bike. before (brp byk before ni) we can afford a bicycle, ayah took us to school by lorry (small one to carry tong gas, he's a lorry driver). As Mak sat on the front, me n my sister had to stand at the back. Remember in GUBRA where amani stand at the back of the lorry while waving her long hair....that was exactly how its look like then. both of us even acted as we were the beauty pageant winner on a parade or sthg. When we had to balik kampung, ayah will put matress at the back so that we can lie down coz it was a journey and we had to depart rite after suboh prayer so we won't get hot. It's funny when we pass by any busses....both of us will hide under the blanket, so the passangers on the bus won't get to see us. yah...like they can't tell.

during school holiday, not like other kids who got to go for vacation, me n my sister just stayed at home. Luckily we do have few friends with same kes like us :D we spent the whole day playing...all kind of games...teng-teng, konda-kondi, gasing, guli, batu seremban....u name it. One day we all get bored with all that and just lepak-ed around looking at each other (fyi, we don't gossip...we just kids) until one of us saw a coconut tree that was just being chopped on the ground. With a big grin he said...let's make penyapu from it and we can sell it off for extra money. Agreed with him, then the whole 'production' began...took us a week to complete. After we finish to 'manufactured' the product, its time for sales dept to take over....and of course as the most talkative among us, i was selected together with my sis n one more gal (kira assistant la ni) to execute the job. So we went from house to house selling our latest collection (hahaha..), mana tahu actually the price that we put was far above the average price in the market (kira costing n pricing dept ni tak betul la), but due to my gifted skill i get to convienced all the makciks to buy penyapu from me although its cost higher that normal. hahaha...end of the day, penyapu was finished sold and all of us get a profit of rm0.50 each. kira zaman dulu, byk tuh. my very first biz deal :D

Last but not least, those day we couldn't afford to go out to town. Its mean, no movie, no concert @ stage show and even no karaoke (ada ke dulu..?). Thus, for entertainment...we had our own stage presentation. Again, as the most muka tak malu among us all, I was the entertainer.....the show was done near pangkin under the tree in front of my grandma's house. As a singer i was performing on the pangkin while my fans all sitting on the ground :D one song after another as per their request...until one of our neighbour (old auntie who doesn't know how to appreciate music) cannot tahan and shouted "memekak je dari tadi, kalau nak menyanyi sangat pegila masuk bintang RTM". hampeh betul....what a spoiler!! all of us terus senyap and left the place....main benda lain. Cheh...if i really went for the audition, you could be the one lining up for my autograph.

Those are part of the journey i've been travelled. Although i struggled to get here(Alhamdulillah), i do tressured all the happy times i had that have mold me to a person that i am now....as all the hard times will remain as a good learning. Life certainly is beautiful...isn't it..?

Emily and the alarm clock

2007-02-13T17:14:00.000-08:00

Emily is a simple gal living in a city far far away
like most people, she has to work her B*tt off everyday to survive.
Although she has to wake up early in the morning, but emily never need an alarm clock to wake her up.......all her life.
In fact she never thought of the necessity of it to her.
Until one day, she came across an alarm clock and supprisingly attracted to it....
the design, the function and everything about it seem compatible to her.
"well, i may not really need it, but its kinda nice to have one....i can sleep without have to worry that i will not waking up on time" she tought.
The alarm clock done it job well and it makes emily a happy gal to rest assure that she can count on the alarm clock to be there with her every morning.
Like the rest, emily's alarm clock do have it down time and when it does, emily have to gone trough hard time....rushing to work, faced the traffic jam and worst being scolded by her boss by being late.
It happened few times it annoyed emily so much that she start to question "do i really need this thing? now...or ever..?". Eventhough she found it great at first, but those experiences make emily start to doubt and decided to go back to her normal routine, waking up by herself.
Deep inside she still like the whole idea of having an alarm clock but she is happy with thing as it is now. If she ever considering buying another alarm clock, this time she wants to make sure that its functioning well, more variety and has to be persistant. She may not know will she ever find one but she definitely never loose hope........

Through The Rain...Through The Pain

2007-02-05T01:42:00.000-08:00

Im in the middle of very hard situation lately
no elaboration needed
coz thats not the point im writing

there are times when u feel the whole world is against you
nowhere to go, nobody to rely on, hopeless
and somehow...miracle happen....it does happen

Im hoping for my miracle rite now
coz the strength that remain in me is faded away
and this strength is the only thing i have now

"I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain"

Was it too much to ask..?

2007-01-31T22:56:00.001-08:00

when I smile, dun misunderstood it as my way to charm
when I am nice, dun misunderstood me as im attracted
when I am being friendly, dun misunderstood as im so into you
when I look happy, dun misunderstood as im a happy go lucky person that will cheer ur life up
coz whatever that you might be thinking by just looking at me could be WRONG
get to know me like your new friend
listen to me as you care
share with me as you trust
make me happy just being yourself
was it too much to ask?

Like this also can...?!

2007-01-30T19:54:00.000-08:00

Which radio station that you all been listening on the way to office..?
I used to listen to Hit.fm a lot but recently changed to Fly.fm, morning breakfast show.
Besides bunch of celebrity news, i like both DJs coz they are funny (or should i say crazy..)
As for new year, the is one new program introduced by them call 'FIX IT'.
Listener get to send to them any problem in their life, whatever kind of problem to be fixed by these 2 crazy fellow. Its been 2 weeks already and i've been hearing a 'po-po without flushing up to pimp-my-pink-car' story and succesfully being fixed. Nevertheless, there are some of the situation i kinda suprised that some people really use this channel to fix it. Ye la..the whole malaysia get listen to it and people like me sure kutuk habis-habisan punya.

First, one gal wanted to break-up with her boifren. Do not have enough courage to tell him so get the radio station to do it instead. Worst part is, she already seeing someone else...
The guy was so shocked and speechless he is being informed by them.
My comment: Damn! This gal is unbelieveably selfish and heartless. Looking at the bright side, now lots of other gal aware that he is available back in the market.

Equally shocked me was an email from one malay lady that requested the DJs to tell her husband how she doesn't like to be call FAT by him. He do it so frequent that she start to feel down and sad.
My comment : hei...its your husband la, takkan want to the whole world to know about that. dun u guys sit down and talk to each other anymore..? what kind of marriage is this?
ok back to the phone call...the husband pulak said, what he's trying to do is motivating her.
My comment : LABELLING is not MOTIVATION....buy her a marie france package to slim down. That's a better way to define it...just that it'll cost u more la. well...nak bini lawa pandai2 la carik duit.

There are better problem that were fixed so far, but these 2 cases really make me wonder...what kind of realationship is that..? Orang macam ni pun ada..? Perhap they find it cool to have the whole malaysia know about their problem. But, i just saw stupidity in them. Guess the main thing that they need to fix is their own brain...

I'm Back

2007-01-30T19:50:00.000-08:00

Dear friends,

all the while I've been posting my story here http://akugumbira.blogs.friendster.com/happy_me/

now i decided to move back...enjoy reading

DREAMs – IMPIAN atau MIMPI?

2006-06-08T02:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went to a free seminar (Entrepreneur Programme) held in one of the hotel near KL. Quite a number of people attending come from various ages and races. The speaker was a skinny lady with a sharp and powerful voice, kecik2 cili padi. The reason i came to the event because i was attracted by their hard-to-resist advertisement in the newspaper last week mentioned “how to start your biz with little or no money?” Interesting rite? I am not going to share what are the tips that she gave (for that I would have to charge a fee hihihi…), just wanna write something that I noticed which is very appealing where almost all of the people coming with DREAMS. All sorts of it but deep in their mind and soul they are just like me…finding something that can help them achieving theirs

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"
– Eleanor Roosevelt

I heard this quote long2 time ago but didn’t really get the meaning which i start to realize last nite. We are all having dreams but do we actually living our dreams? Perhaps the fact of life slowly start to makes us believe that dreams is something that only seem so real during childhood (we call it impian), which will be never comes true (turned up to be just mimpi)…sigh..

Apart from the thought that I had, I also start to recall dream jobs that I have along my life

Kindergarten :
I have no single idea about what I want to be when I grow up when my sister asked that Q to fill-up the ambition column (in my bio) to be sent over to a magazine called bintang kecil (popular sangat masa tu). I didn’t know what she put there until I saw my cute hitam-legam face appeared on the membership column. It stated there I want to be a NURSE (hahaha….) is that the best job u can figure out sis? All nurses in town, no offend ha, I am not looking down at the profession but me as a nurse hahaha…I would be the most hated nurse ever

Primary :
Remember report card? Yes the one with number (markah la) with either blue or red colour given to our parent after each exam that we had. I don’t know if it’s only in my school but it was an ambition column inside it also and we require to fill it up. Why are these people so busy-body wants to know what I want to be in the future? Like im going to give away part of my pay to them! But I was not in the position to make campaign to boycott that so, I just think of a job that is suitable to be put in. I ended up writing TEACHER on it. Perhaps, after looking at the power that they have (over children). Even to go for ‘shi-shi’ also need to get their permission…cool ha?!
Eventually the ambition changed one day when my mom brought me to a clinic. The doctor who supposed to be treating patient suddenly so friendly like a physiatrist (pulak) asked me the same Q again!! What is this man? Do I belong to the place where everybody is so eager to know what u wants to be or is that the only Q that adults know to ask from kids? Trying not to be rude (else I will not get the candy), I answered him “I want to be a teacher”. Not satisfying with my answer (I think the doc can see bigger potential in me), the doctor then said “you should think of a better one, you should be a lecturer”. How could I argue with him rite? Older, wiser and to ensure that I will get my candy I just agreed with him. Since that day on, my ambition is to be a LECTURER

Secondary ( MRSM)
Never really thought of what should I become after I finish study. I took science class coz my results is not ‘strong’ enough to be in art or perdagangan class. Guess that my luck as with that result I still managed to get myself into MRSM. Still not knowing what I want to be as I am not good in study (I was a sleeping ‘beast’ in the class) so I just stick with lecturer for meantime until I finally get my SPM results (Ok la for people those day) and we have to choose the course to take in uni. Yeah! This is when the real thing really hit me, this time u cannot simply choose nor taking advice from your doctor. Haiya, since my physics and math quite ok I decided to go for engineering. So, my ambition then has change to be an ENGINEER

And it didn’t change until I finally get to be an engineer. Alhamdulillah

But is that my DREAM to be an engineer? Guess not

My dream is to be happy
Sound cliché’?
perhaps, but that is my dream and I will never stop till I find it!

Kindly share yours my friends, it’s a long lost thing that we kinda forgotten
Happy dreaming :)

how SIGNIFICANT are u?

2006-06-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, I received an international call from a friend (I used to admire him in uniten…hampeh, macam mana dia boleh tahu!). Just like other conversation it started with ‘skema’ questions like…”what are u doing?”, “have u taken ur dinner?” and the most common yet difficult to answer..”how are u?”. For most people it might be a simple question to answer, but not for me. Why? Coz at this age (and being single), the question sound more like “dah kawin ke belum?” or worst “have u find yourself a boyfriend?”. Do I sound like too sensitive? perhaps, but I know that I am so right when those ‘exact’ question will be popped-up right after the camouflage one being asked. Back to the phone call, after took 30 mins of his time answering the “how are you?” question, we then moved to other topic. Things get heated up (sikit la) when I made a cruel statement commenting how I do not feel his phone call (or himself) as significant to me. Surprisingly, he took it pretty well…

Thinking back…what does it mean by significant? Oxford dictionary define it as “extensive or important enough to merit attention”. The biggest question now is, who are the people that SIGNIFICANT in your life? Looking at the definition it can be either somebody that give good attention or even bad ones. Ehm...people come in and go out of your life every day, how do they make it significant to you? To be honest I have no idea, even the ‘bai’ roti who are coming every morning ringing a loud bell while shouting “roti..roti” can be considered as significant. So I guess significant can be described as somebody that u can fell their existence and their absent….
Here a small contribution for people that I would consider significant to me…hehehe
My parents : ayah, mak I luv you
My siblings : I know I can be difficult sometimes (yelah tu) but I just try to be as significant as possible to your life….luv u all very much
Heartbreaker : Though u broke my heart into pieces…thanks for showing me the real meaning of LOVE….(cheh! I would never believe in love stories showed on tv anymore)
My ex-colleagues : Tell u guys a secret, I do curi tulang when boss not around :P
My friends : I may not be significant to all of you…but I do treasure moments we had together…
Bai roti : you light up my life….with your honk hahaha…..

Lastly, to the phone caller….its looks like u start to make urself significant….by taking the comment so well…

Finally..

2006-06-04T22:47:00.000-07:00

Finally, after the long thought…I decided to post my first blog. As I told Inci one night how I envy those people that can write (blog) very well. Admiring the way they are expressing their story, ada yang kelakar, ada gembira, ada sedih, and inspiring as well. What actually hold me back? Well, it is the nature of me, always take things so seriously, perfectionist la konon…”my English is terrible”, “my vocab suck”, “who’s going to read anyway”…tetiba terfikir…”what harm actually can it give to me?”…betul jugak!! So, why not ha? I have story to tell, I have feeling to share and I have people that I want to thanked or kutuk too and this seem to be a good medium for that…so, mr dear friend all around the globe, enjoy reading :)